The last week or so leading up to Olive's birth, I had plenty of false labor. There was at least two occasions where I was positive it was the real thing. Each time I thought it was go time and it wasn't, I got even more frustrated and sad that my baby was still inside of me. I firmly believe that everyone should have their first child a little early or at least not go past their due date, because for me, from 36 weeks on I was READY. Everyone kept telling me to be patient and she'll come when she's ready. Easier said than done. I just wanted to cuddle her.
I had a little bit of a breakdown while driving home from Joey's parents house Christmas night, because I just couldn't imagine having to wait another week, or two weeks until we'd get to meet her. I know that might seem crazy, but like, when you're hormonal and want your baby, everything is a big freakin deal.
But! That night at about 1 am (now the 26th, and my due date), I started to have birthing waves (contractions or labor pains). Like I said, I had a few different times prior to this when I woke up in the middle of the night from practice waves. So I tried to keep it cool. After about a 45 minutes of minute long contractions, about 5 minutes apart, I called my mom to tell her it might be happening. We decided to go into the hospital around 3 am. Even though I wasn't convinced that I was in active labor, we figured it would be better to find that out at the hospital, not at home before it was too late. And like I said, my contractions were really regular even from the start.
I was taken to a triage once we got to Orem Community Hospital. After an hour on the monitors, I hadn't progressed at all and was still at 3 cm. The nurse suggested I go home and labor for a while, and then come back once my contractions were consistently getting closer and closer together. We got back home at around 5 am or so. My contractions were uncomfortable enough that I couldn't sleep more than just a few minutes at a time. This went on pretty much all day. My mom and Sara got to our apartment around 4 pm. They left Spokane right after I had called my mom that morning. We hung out at my apartment for several more hours, and decided that I would go to the hospital around 9 or 10, if not sooner.
We got to the hospital a little after 10 pm and by this time, I was pretty tired. After an hour in the triage, the nurse told me I had not progressed a full centimeter. I felt so defeated. I had been going at it for almost a full day, and supposedly nothing had happened. The nurse said we could wait another hour, since we drove all that way, and I think my labor really started to pick up in that hour. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but I felt a definite difference. After the second hour was up, the nurse came in and checked me, and I had progressed a centimeter and they would admit me. I was so relieved, but also was in a lot more discomfort. I was sooo tired, and was mentally struggling. If I would have known I only had another hour, that would have made a world of difference for me I think. I think everyone gets to a point in their labor where they just don't think they can do it anymore. And I was at this point. I had just puked in the bathroom (from pain) and Joey came in to help me get up off the toilet, and I just cried. I really wanted to be able to labor completely naturally, but I was so exhausted. He did such a good job of talking me down and helping me to be as calm as I could be. My hypnobabies classes really did help a lot in my birthing too.
The nurse came in, and I said for the first time aloud I was thinking about getting an epidural. She said that the anesthesiologist was currently at the hospital for someone else, so if I wanted one, now would be the time because he was leaving soon, and I'd have to wait for him to come back and that could take a while once he was gone. So, I decided to get an epidural just for a little while so I could maybe get some rest before pushing.
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| #TeamNoSleep |
Right after they had given me an epidural, the baby's heart rate dropped quite a bit. I didn't realize what was happening, but then all of a sudden there were like, 10 nurses in my room and one was speaking with my midwife and asking if we should contact the OBGYN on call. That was probably the scariest moment of that whole day. Luckily, her heart rate went back up quickly after that and everything was fine. When my midwife came in, she checked me and I was at a 7. I took a nap for about an hour (and so did my mom and Sara) and I woke up feeling some pressure on my tailbone, and kind of like I needed to drop a deuce. Which I remembered that's what people say it feels like when you are ready to push. My midwife came back in and I was fully dilated.
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| Grandma Angie was pretty tired, just about to take a quick nap before go time |
She said we might wait for the baby to fall a little more before pushing. I can't remember why, but she said I could push once or twice to see if the baby was really ready to come out. I pushed, and it was decided that we keep pushing. I pushed for forever. I appreciated that my midwife was allowing me to kind of stretch it out down there, to prevent tearing, but two hours of pushing was HARD. With each push, everyone would just tell me, "One more! Almost there!" and I was so sick of it. I would give my all, and then realize she was not out yet. Apparently, I got quite the 'tude, but I have no recollection of this. I was prettyyyy out of it. It was weird because I could feel everything (the epidural had long worn off by now), but in between pushes I would basically black out. I was so out of it. And then, all of a sudden, everyone was so excited and I could tell this really was the last one, and we really were almost there. HALLELUJAH! Olive came out and was a little purple, and was having a hard time breathing. Her cord was slightly around her neck, so Joey wasn't able to cut the cord in the rush to get her breathing again. After using one of those weird blue bulby things, she started to cry. She was so alert and just looking at everyone. She was the most adorable newborn ever to live! I was sure of it. I cried as they put her on my chest. I always thought it was so gross when women would just have their baby's on them before even cleaning them off. But, I didn't even realize. I was so pumped and excited and happy that my baby was finally here.
Olive was 8 lbs 3 oz and 20.5 inches long. She was born at 6:14 am on December 27, 2014. After being pretty sure the months leading up to her birth that we had a good named picked out, we decided that just didn't fit her. To my surprise, Joey had decided her actually did like the name Olive, and that's what we decided her name would be.
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| Getting weighed and measured |
Olive is the name of a distant ancestor of mine (Olive Picard). I also love that it is a symbol of peace, the tenacious strength of an olive branch, and the gospel symbolism and importance of the olive. I remember Sara sending me John 14:27 just a few days before having Olive (because I was being so impatient). It says,
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart betroubled, neither let it be afraid." And just thought in my head,
Olive. Olive means peace. I think that will be her name. I think I knew that it would be her name. Even if I didn't say it then.
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| Covered in goop, but still the cutest |
I love Olive so much. I think it took me a little while to really feel like a mom, and I still think it's surreal at times. But I have loved her so much from the first day. And I think that has allowed me to be more calm and patient with her than I have ever been in my life. She is sweet and precious, and so so smiley. She wakes up smiling, and it makes me feel giddy because she is so excited to be alive, and to see me. Being a mother is incredible.
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| Those beautiful eyes |
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| smiling at mama |
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| loving daddy! |
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| So happy, and so tired. can we please have a moment of silence for how worked i look? |
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| Auntie Sara |
